We recently put ourselves on a new family budget, which includes a little bit each month to donate to a great cause. I’ve asked G (my 6-year-old son, Griffin) to help pick the cause each month. During this month of Thanksgiving, we’re giving what we can to help BEAT HUNGER. Which, here in Milwaukee, I’m sorry to say includes the HALF of children who live below poverty level. That just can’t be acceptable, right? So please do what you can to do something about it. If we all do, we can make it right.

G and I have chosen to donate through Food Fight MKE, a movement initiated by young adults to educate, engage, energize and inspire citizens to help beat hunger in Milwaukee. (Disclosure: the young ‘uns powering Food Fight MKE are part of the OrangeAid internship program at Jigsaw, the agency that pays for my family’s food. This post, I promise you, is purely my personal opinion/beliefs.)

To participate, just text FOOD to 52000 and $10 will be donated to Hunger Task Force, which is expert at making money go as far as it possibly can to help local families. You can donate this way up to three times, and I strongly encourage you to do so. I did.

Semi-secret tip: You can also have some fun and help kick off Food Fight MKE by coming to the Bradley Center this Friday, November 11th at 6:30 PM and participating in a Beat Hunger flash mob. Hope to see you there.

What are you doing to help BEAT HUNGER during Thanksgiving month?

After the big Yin Toxin Fast and the Clean Program, having dropped 14 pounds in short order, we went on vacation, a beautiful week of family time on Green Lake. I was totally cleansed and refreshed, in so many ways. Ahhhhhhhhh.

But when we got home, I took a good look around and, newly energized, realized how many other things in my life were…out of control, frankly. About three minutes after we walked in the door, I cleaned the refrigerator. And the cupboards. And the closet. And it spiraled from there. The month of September was completely dedicated to getting our house in order, literally. We cleaned and de-cluttered EVERYTHING. (OK, we’re still working on the basement. That’s kind of a lifelong project, evidently. And from the looks of my desk as I write this, it could still use some help…)

We also found a FANTASTIC, no B.S. new financial planner, who I’ll be happy to hook you up with if you need help. (Many thanks to Erica Conway for hooking US up.) She helped us take a hard look at our finances, re-budget to a more realistic level (read: what we can actually afford), refinance our house, update our life insurance, re-think our investments, the whole sticky ball of wax. We’re in a good place now, with a fresh start, and some space in the mental cache has been cleared for things like writing more.

I’m writing more on the Jigsaw blog these days. But, I’ll also be posting here from time to time, especially after a redesign that’s in the works is finished.

So, Happy Fall. What’s up with you? What in your life could use a fresh look or a little de-cluttering?

Several years ago, my acupuncturist gave me this Yin toxin fast because I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of being sluggish. Those who knew me when I did it still talk about it; in 13 days I went from a chubby slug to super-energetic and dropped about 12 pounds (which stayed off for a long, long time). Since my surgery in May, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling of being sluggish, just not being able to find my energy. So I’m doing this again starting today.

I’m not a doctor. I’m not recommending this for everyone. I’m just sharing something that has worked for me in the past. And I’ll let you know if it works again. It’s a thirteen-day taper fast, in which you move slowly to detoxification from a “normal” diet and then back again. By “normal” diet, they mean a 100% unprocessed, vegan diet, not the “normal” diet that most of us eat.

Throughout the 13 days, there is no caffeine (OUCH, this is the hardest part by far), no sugar, nothing processed (no sour patch kids hahaha), no dairy (no YoMama goodness…boo), no alcohol (not that big a deal, except for my friend’s awesome birthday party), nothing refined or processed at all.

Day 1: beans, spices, fruits, grains, cooked vegetables, soups
Day 2: a little less of everything from day one
Day 3: very few spices, no beans
Day 4: less vegetables, more grains, no fruit
Day 5: few vegetables, mainly mixed grains
Days 6-8: one cup of organic brown rice 3 times a day
Day 9: few vegetables, mainly mixed grains
Day 10: more vegetables, grains
Day 11: very few spices, some fruit, no beans
Day 12: beans, fruits, grains, soups
Day 13: beans, spices, fruits, grains, vegetables, soups

If you try this, during days 6-8, you’ll pretty much be resting…no child care, no heavy exercise, no work, nothing. You’re letting your entire body including your digestive system rest, and it will thank you for it. This will mean it’s going to be difficult to impossible for me to attend 3 on 3 for Niebs this weekend which really bums me out, but I have to do something to feel better. Hopefully some of you will go for me. : ]

See you on the other side. Anything like this ever worked for you?

I never met either Andy or his family. But my heart breaks for them, and I’ve heard many of you say the same. I’ve never met Jennifer, but having watched my own Mom die from cancer many years ago, my heart breaks for her every time I read her blog. Katie, I’ve met, and come to know well, and love, and having watched my own dog die five years ago almost to the day, my heart breaks for her, too.

So, is it worth it, ultimately, opening yourself up to the pain of people who are, often, strangers? Yes, I think so. Why? Because every bit of “sad” brings with it a bit of sunshine.

The truly heartbreaking story of Andy results in getting acquainted with Jon and Maria Tiegs, who took it upon themselves to organize a fundraiser for Andy’s family, and, as I’ve told them, restore one’s faith in humanity. The heartbreaking story of Jennifer’s Mom results in getting to know the incredible strength of her spirit and Jennifer’s spirit. And getting to know Katie is…well, the gift that keeps on giving. : ] And these are just a few examples of the stories we all hear every day.

The other upside? Gratitude. Today is my little man’s 6th birthday, and following Andy’s life and death is a constant reminder to be grateful for today.

It also makes us more prone to actually step in and help other people, which I still hope you will do for the #cancersucks fundraiser for Andy. I will be in attendance with my little man, and would love to see you there.

My good friend Erica Conway commented yesterday on the “helplessness of empathy”. I love that turn of phrase. It can make you feel helpless. Obviously, there’s nothing any of us can do for Andy. BUT there is a great deal we can do for his family. There is always SOMETHING that we can do. The trick is getting off our butts and DOING it.

Sometimes, it’s all a little overwhelming, to be honest. There’s only so much emotion that one can process at a time. Do you ever find it to be so?

So, let’s just say right off the bat, it’s a bit ridiculous to bitch about having gotten free tickets to a movie preview (received because of online “influence” as measured by Klout) and the questionable experience that ensued; clearly, there are bigger problems in the world that we should be discussing. But I’m gonna do it anyway. And here’s why: if you think about it, it’s interestingly convoluted from a brand management/community management standpoint.

On the off chance that you’re reading this and not familiar with Klout, it’s a measurement of online influence; there’s been enough written about it to choke a million social media “experts”. Google it. My first post about Klout is here, Why I still don’t care what your Klout score is. But, it’s over six months old, and I have a different take now, and while I’m honestly sick of talking about Klout, Klout, Klout, did I mention Klout, I think it warrants saying, and besides, the topic tends to get people worked up a bit.

Klout User Persona A: lives and dies by his or her Klout score, checking it multiple times a day. Becomes despondent if it declines by a point. Has personal Klout score in a badge on personal blog (blargh). Religiously gives five people a day +K (fine), and tweets it every single time (blargh). May tweet asking people to +K him or her on a certain topic (in a word: blaaaaargh). Klout User Persona B: members of KSWA (Klout Schwag Whores Anonymous). I’m a charter member and the tagline I propose is: Mock the tool. Love the schwag. (There are other personas, clearly but you get the idea.)

If Klout fails to execute well, that brings the brand down, instead of lifting it up.

I realized last night the degree to which Klout’s ability to successfully execute it’s KloutPerks programs impacts the brands being promoted. Case in point: Disney Winnie the Pooh movie preview.

I was invited by Klout, I signed up, I got a message from Klout saying “You’re All Set! Just show up”. I got my kid all pumped about the movie, I rushed home from work to get there on time, and we showed up. And exactly what I was afraid would happen did happen: Blank stare from ticket booth staff, followed by: “You’re not on the list.” These are five words you never want to hear, right? Especially when you’re standing there with your now-vibrating-with-excitement kid, visions of dragging him out of the theatre in a puddle of tears running through your head. Long story short, after having to explain what Klout is, and the theatre personnel looking for the nonexistent Klout list, they let us in anyway. It took long enough, though, that by the time we got in, there were few decent seats left. So, we sat in a nearly-empty row of press seats, at which point I was accosted by a woman with a clipboard. After clearly communicating that I wasn’t having a delightful experience thus far, and that I wasn’t going anywhere easily, and that I really like to write, she left us alone, too. By that point, the movie was starting, and I had serious acid indigestion. Which (in spite of it being a really good movie, visually lovely with tons of LOL-ing from G and all the kids in the theatre) is now pretty much the feeling I associate most with the preview of the Winnie the Pooh film.

Nutshell: If the Klout experience sucks, the BRAND experience sucks.

In other words, in some cases, Klout actually creates a bit of a brand management/community management problem. I’m not the only one this happened to, because I talked to others who were there last night. It could still be an isolated incident, but I doubt it as it is not the only glitch I’ve had with KloutPerks. I’ll spare you the details of the Subway gift card I still have not received despite repeated emails from Klout asking if I got it yet. Seriously, I appreciate the offer, but, KEEP IT. It’s not worth the trouble.

Yeah, it’s still pretty new. Yeah, yeah, I’m being difficult. But, yeah, if you’re a brand or community manager and thinking about a KloutPerks or similar influencer promotion, you need to think about it. It can backfire. Frankly, I would have been a better influencer for the Winnie the Pooh movie had I been left to my own devices, paid to see the movie, and not had any stress around it.

P.S. I love KloutPerks.

Dear Klout,

If you are reading this, no offense, OK? Keep the schwag coming. For serious. Really, I love you. You wanted to hear about my experience, and this was it. You need feedback to get better, right?

Love,
Sue Spaight
President, KSWA

What say you? Am I being unreasonable (moi!??!)? Are my standards too high? Is this type of influencer marketing a smart move? What do you think of Klout in general?

Imagine that you’re at a pool party at your friends’ house with your son, a full-of-life, baseball-loving 12-year-old. Next thing you know, he is very ill and in extreme pain. A day or two later, he’s taken into brain surgery and diagnosed as having Medullablastoma, which according to Children’s Hospital of Boston is the “most common central nervous system tumor of childhood“. The tumors have been removed. But a month later, your child starts radiation, five days a week for six straight weeks along with weekly chemotherapy. A month after that, your son endures numerous cycles of chemo. By this point, he is incredibly weak and needs leg braces to get around. At the end of the last chemo cycle, you receive the horrific news that the tumors have returned and spread throughout his brain and spine. So your beloved child starts a different type of chemo. But, a few weeks later, an MRI reveals that it is not working as it should be.

“Tumor of childhood” has to be one of most awful phrases ever, don’t you think? These are three words that should never be together. For any parent, really any human being with a beating heart, it’s positively unthinkable. Not for the Niebler family of Waukesha, Wisconsin, the family for which this story is excruciatingly real, because they have been living it for just over a year. Meet Andy Niebler, the 12-year-old about whom we are speaking. People who know Andy personally describe him as a great kid with a smile that lights up a room and brings joy to those around him. They say his whole family is warm, and caring, and funny with a fun-loving, optimistic attitude and a tremendous love for life.

Six key ways you can help Andy and his family through the 3 on 3 for Niebs Cancer Sucks fundraiser

Again, imagine if this story was YOU or YOUR CHILD. You’d want help, right? An incredible, caring, dedicated group of The Nieblers’ friends and neighbors have organized a basketball tournament - 3 on 3 for Niebs – as a fundraiser for Andy and his family, to help defray medical expenses. The event is on Sunday, August 7 at Center Court in Waukesha. Here’s a map to the event. ALL PROCEEDS from this event (except food concessions) are going directly to Andy and his family.

1. Register a team for the tournament. Have some fun and get some exercise for a great cause. Team registration closes on Saturday, July 16, so do it now!

2. Attend the event. It only costs $2, and in addition to the basketball tournament, there will be a silent auction, raffle and family fun like clowns, face painting and balloon artists.

3. Donate an item to the silent auction. E-mail 3on3forNiebs@gmail.com or find @3on3forNiebs on Twitter.

4. If you can’t make the event, you can still make a contribution through the event website. Every donation, regardless of size, is extremely appreciated by the Niebler family and the the organizers.

5. Become a sponsor: E-mail 3on3forNiebs@gmail.com or find @3on3forNiebs on Twitter.

6. Volunteer: Refs and scorekeepers are needed, along with other day-of-event support. E-mail 3on3forNiebs@gmail.com or find @3on3forNiebs on Twitter.

And, of course, continue spreading the word and offering #prayers4andy (the hashtag on Twitter). I know we’re all pulling and praying for Andy and his family. So let’s pull together and offer them as much support as we possibly can. Liking them on Facebook and tweeting and retweeting and blogging and above all, praying, are FANTASTIC. But we can do more.

Give a few bucks. Show up at the event. Donate an auction item, or become a sponsor. Please. Do. All. You. Can.

Peace and love – Spaight

The Story, In Anne’s Words.

I’d like to share with you (with Anne’s blessing) an email that she recently shared with some of her close friends:

Good Morning Dear Friends,

Please regard this as a cautionary tale. Late in May while lying on my bed I discovered a golf ball sized lump on my left abdomen near my hip bone. Because it was large and the area tender, I went to a doctor thinking I might have an inflamed lymph node or cyst. A few days before my appointment I couldn’t feel the lump anymore—it seemed to have disappeared or migrated elsewhere–but I decided to go anyway. The proactive Nurse Practitioner felt the lump and sent me for a blood test and ultra sound. She called me the next day to say she set up an appt for me with a very good gyn. One week later the gyn gave me a vaginal and rectal exam, the latter much to my surprise as it was something I’d never had before. He then issued orders for an MRI which I got a few days later. A week after the MRI results were in I saw the gyn again. His diagnosis: ovarian cancer, possibly early, stage two. His recommendation: get an appt with a gyn-oncologist. Yesterday I saw Dr. Hoogerland, who also gave me a vaginal and rectal exam and came to the same conclusion. I’m scheduled for tumor removal surgery July 6th, and then will undergo chemo about 3 weeks afterwards. If this cancer is in fact stage 2, if we caught it before it got to stage 3, I consider myself very, very lucky. As my oncologist friend at Stanford said, I dodged a bullet. Of course, we won’t know anything until the surgery but I’m betting on a positive outcome (stage 2). What I want to emphasize, as my friend Sue Spaight says: Know Your Lumps. If something feels odd, go to your doctor. Most signs for ovarian cancer are non-specific, eg, bloating, limited appetite, gas. The other important point I want to share with you is the importance of having your doctor or gyn give you both a vaginal and rectal exam annually. If I had had both previously, chances are the cancer would have been detected much earlier. Remember, you know your body better than anyone. Pay attention to even the most minute signs, and never, ever feel like you’re asking too much of your doctor if you think something’s wrong.

Cheers,
Anne

Get Involved. We Need to Support the People Who Support Us.

Anne has been incredibly strong and good-humored; if you know Anne personally, that won’t surprise you. But her surgery today, and the weeks that follow, are going to be difficult. Your support will mean so much. If you’re someone who pitches in to help regularly, bless you. And if you are someone who’s been sitting on the sidelines, thinking about getting more involved, I urge you to please take action now.

You may not realize how much Sprecher does in our community. They have supported, among many other causes, #SaveTeecycle, Gilda’s Club of Southeastern Wisconsin, Wisconsin Breast Cancer Coalition, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation and the Burn Camp for Injured Youth. They are also supporting the American Liver Foundation’s 2011 Liver Walk, and I am asking you to please help me support Team Sprecher, and Anne Sprecher, this month.

Support Team Sprecher! There are several ways you can participate.

The first is to sign up to walk with Team Sprecher on July 30 at the Milwaukee lakefront. Your individual fundraising goal will be a modest $150, or whatever you want it to be.

The second, if you can’t walk that day, is to make a donation through Team Sprecher here.

Soon, we hope to have some great T-shirts for you to buy and other ways to get involved. But for now, please join the team and make a donation.  Team Sprecher’s goal is $5,000. Let’s put a big smile on Anne’s face and blow that goal out of the water!!!

If you can’t donate cash, but have an item you could donate for a Twitter auction, that works, too!

I’m also trying to organize a nice little surprise for Anne, so please drop me an email through this blog or drop your email addy in the comments if you want to help.

Please, everyone, let’s show how much we care. Thanks so much for your support. Drop your comments, thoughts, questions, ideas below.

Peace and love. -Spaight

Twitter – and to an extent Facebook and other online social networking – has become the primary neighborhood, for me, and I suspect for many of you. “Right” or “wrong” (and it’s really neither, it just is) I know my friends that I have met through Twitter – who live in other parts of the city, country, world – better than I know most of the people who live on my street.

Why? Because I see their lives streaming before me in real time, day in and day out. And they see mine. And no, not just the mundane details, like what they are having for breakfast (though yes, you have to self-filter that to get to the good stuff), but also their challenges and struggles (job searches, illnesses, family problems) – and their triumphs (new jobs, weddings, babies being born). It’s really quite the reality show…much more interesting than anything on TV, on a “good Twitter day”. (Other times, yes, it can be like watching paint dry.)

Ask for help when you need it. Help when you can.

Much has been written documenting the social good being instigated online. And I firmly believe we each have a responsibility to “pay it forward” when we can. In my little microcosmic world, recently, I had surgery. Who came to my aid afterwards with books, wonderful home cooked meals, and offers to help? It wasn’t the couple next door or the couple down the street. It wasn’t even family members, who, granted, live a fair distance away. It was friends I met and built relationships with via Twitter, and, subsequently, at offline events. A huge thank you, again, to those who helped or offered help.

There’s always the Twitterhood. And it’s a blessing.

So, should I make more of an effort to get to know the couples next door and down the street? Absolutely. Our suburban lifestyle isn’t super-conducive to that, though, as I’m just not home that much, and when I am, I’m not usually shooting the breeze over the back fence. (Not to mention that where I live, it’s decent outside about one third of the year.) Maybe it would be different if I lived in a town as small as the one in which I was raised? Or maybe not. Maybe things are just…different now. You could argue that I’m being lazy. And maybe at times I am. There needs to be a balance between online neighbors and physical neighbors.

Let me participate in the way that I can be most effective.

If you’re a marketer or fundraiser, you need to understand this dynamic. For example, the American Cancer Society runs a neighborhood fundraising campaign, in which they ask volunteers such as me to send a letter – yes, a paper, old school letter, with, like a stamp and stuff – to everyone on their block asking them to donate money. Nice idea, and maybe once upon a time it was effective, or maybe in some communities, it still is. For me, it was a complete waste of time and generated exactly zero return, as I predicted it would. Why? Because my geographic neighbors don’t know me as well as my online, on-Twitter neighbors do. (Well, that and the fact that half of the addresses were out of date.) ACS gives their volunteer neighborhood fundraisers the option of also creating a fundraising web page, but, after doing all the letters, well, I couldn’t find the time that day to get it done. A great way around this problem would be for ACS and like organizations to give its volunteers choices from several different paths to participation. Don’t assume that how you define my neighborhood is how I define my neighborhood.

We’re creating online communities the way our grandparents did in small towns.

Related, here’s a brilliant post from the inimitable Sara Santiago: A Guy For That. In it, Sara points out how “social media is really just helping us find (and be) “a guy for that” in a much larger online community.” Our “guys” used to be in our town, whereas now, our “guys” maybe be across the country or across the world. And, Sara says, “social media has allowed us to create a powerful online community, in much the same way our grandparents did within a small town.” Yes. THAT. That is what we are talking about.

The assertion here is that, for many of us, the notion, the definition, the expression of “neighborhood” has fundamentally changed.

What’s up in your ‘hood?

My family, particularly my eldest brother, thinks Twitter is ridiculous. I think it’s just an extended neighborhood. So now, when, in the mornings, you see me tweet “Good morning, Twitterhood” you’ll know what the heck I am talking about.

Is this what’s happening for you, too? Or is your experience different?

Is the fact that we’re spending more of our time networking online weakening our physical neighborhoods? Or just making them bigger, maybe even closer-knit?

What do you think?

If you’ve been on Twitter for more than three seconds in the past two days, you’ve seen #AliceBucketList. And if you haven’t, check out the Alice’s Bucket List, the blog of a 15-year-old girl with terminal cancer, asking people, primarily, to sign up for their national marrow donor registry. It’s powerful stuff, and has taken the Twitter world by storm, the fastest moving search stream I have ever seen.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty pissed off by the millions (?) of people on Twitter sharing this message and variations thereof:

Here’s the thing, people. LISTEN to Alice. She didn’t say she wants to be a trending topic on Twitter. It is in fact NOT on her bucket list. Some probably well-intentioned person on Twitter decided that for her, and, in my opinion, deflected attention from the REAL ISSUE. Which is the national marrow donor registry. I’ve seen a few other voices in the wilderness attempt to focus on that, God bless them.

Is it cool that she is a trending topic? HELL YES.

Will it do some good, driving more eyeballs to her story? HELL YES.

But will there be many people who – in the absence of focus on the marrow issue – just hit the RT button and feel like they have done their part? HELL YES.

Should people, as was suggested to me by a friend on Twitter, just do whatever they can? HELL YES.

But I, for one, often wish that we could, as a collective, focus less on shallow social media douchebaggery like “Alice wants to trend!”, which is bullshit, and more on DOING SOMETHING REAL. By all means, give the girl an RT, but know that this alone does not make you a person of real action.

Solely IMHO. Different strokes rule the world, as the TV theme song goes.

Bottom line, the marrow registry is waaaaay more important than any of this social media blahblahblah, so, if you’re already on the marrow registry, tell us why. And if you’re not, please learn more and considering signing up. I did when I found out that a good friend’s nephew was fighting leukemia. He’s 15 now and still fighting like hell, so, do it for him, and for Alice, and for all the other people who need it.

Here is some more information about why to donate marrow and the steps to register. Register with Be The Match here.

Super happy news this morning, though. Alice reported in the wee hours of the morning that a lot of money is being donated to cancer research through her sister’s race page. So, that’s fantastic. People have also helped arranged great experiences for her, the things that ARE on her bucket list, which is amazing. A ton of great people are taking real action and doing their part, whatever they can.

That’s all I’m asking.

Are you doing your part, whether for this, or another cause? Tell us. Inspire us. And thank you.

P.S. I’m not attempting to speak for Alice. I wouldn’t do that. She probably really does think it’s cool to be a trending topic, now that she is on Twitter. You can follow her here.

Aided by social communication tools, are we becoming lazy communicators with lazy friendships?

Yesterday I posed this question on Twitter: do you ever feel that your use of social media is resulting in more, but SHALLOWER relationships? Even perhaps making long-term friendships shallower? A few people responded with a hearty AMEN and few people said NO WAY. How about you?

It’s not “social media’s fault”; the word choice of “your use of social media” was very intentional. The tools are what we make of them, just like the tools that came before. And you know I love them as much as the next addict enthusiast. Through them, I have met all of you amazing people and I don’t take that for granted.

Here’s the thing, though, peeps. We must not lose sight of the fact that these *newfangled* communication tools will only take us so far in our relationships. They are better, IMHO, for forging new relationships – making initial connections – than at strengthening existing relationships. At least personal, individual relationships. Brand relationships, different story for a different day. I’m talking about human to human connection here. Mano a mano…Hermano a hermano.

A couple of examples. Last week, I had surgery. A close friend promised me a phone call to see how I was doing. Now, like many of you, I am not a huge fan of the telephone. Except, perhaps, with her and a couple of other *old* friends. Well the phone call instead became a comment on my Facebook. Seriously? ITS. NOT. THE. SAME. Not everything in life can be accomplished with a tweet or a Facebook comment. And sadly, I’m sure I’ve done this, too. In fact, I know I’ve done it. Yesterday. A close relative posted something on her Facebook about having a bad week and being in a wheelchair. Wheelchair? Really? I’ve owed her a phone call for months, but did I do it? Nah. Instead, reply to Facebook post: “Dude what up?” Man, that’s some deep stuff right there…I’m sure THAT will make her feel better and show her that I care.

I’m not saying that social communication tools can’t be used in a way that deepens relationships. Often, they can. But I am suggesting that our tendency oftentimes has been to take the lazy way out, using them as a poor substitute for communication that really needs to be happening in a deeper way, one that actually requires a little effort.

Your turn. Agree or disagree? See yourself in this post at all? Or are we all just a bunch of dynamic rock stars using social media beautifully to change the world one deep meaningful relationship at a time?