Branding And Marketing

Review: Jillian Michaels Maximize Your Life tour

May 06

Yesterday was FITNESS SPONTANEITY DAY at our house. Woke up feeling restless; an hour later we were off on a family hike in the woods in Kettle Moraine State Park about an hour from our house…SO refreshing. Then we made the random last-minute decision to go to the Jillian Michaels show at the Pabst Theater; no regrets there, either. Jillian was GREAT.

GETTING GREAT SEATS AT THE LAST MINUTE

Protip: I spent most of my teenage/college years working in various theater ticket offices…if you aren’t aware, many times there are great seats released the day of show that the box office had been holding back for possible VIPs. And this is why we decided to go yesterday; I had looked for tickets twice before and come up with crappy, overpriced seats, which I will. not. do. Two hours before the show, we landed in the center of the floor in row P, at a great price. BAM. Done.

INFORMATIVE, INSPIRING, VERY FUNNY…NOT SO FAMILY FRIENDLY

Nutrition, Exercise, Motivation and…Tequila

The other reason we went is that my son – who is 7 years old – REALLY wanted to see Jillian. When your kid comes to you and says he finds someone inspiring and wants to see them – especially when you’ve spent the past 7 years trying to get that kid to eat a fruit or a vegetable – you pretty much say YES.

We’ve watched more than enough Biggest Loser at our house to know that Jillian swears like a sailor. I had hoped she would tone it down for the show knowing that there would be kids in the audience but mmmmmmyeah not so much. Not at all. Goddamn it, Bastards, the F bomb and all…she was ALL IN. I have some proclivity for swearing myself, so I understand, and am OK with it. But it’s not for everyone.

Also (sorry for the sucky I-phone picture) yes that IS a bottle of Patron by Jillian’s feet. I found it interesting that she was offering tequila shots while talking about how to prolong your life…definitely a show meant more for women out with their girls than for fitness-obsessed Moms and their fitness-obsessed little boys.

Still, my son was laughing during this show HARDER THAN I HAVE EVER HEARD HIM LAUGH IN HIS LIFE. Like to the point that women around us were getting annoyed (which I don’t get, BTW. WTF, aren’t we all here to have fun?). Totally. Cracked. Him. Up. Between the kid hearing about nutrition from a master and the laughter – worth every penny.

“I’VE MADE A LOT OF MONEY SHARING THIS SECRET…WAIT FOR IT…EAT LESS AND MOVE MORE”

Bwahaha! So freaking true. Jillian encouraged everyone to stop spending money learning this lesson…and then we all went out to the lobby and trampled each other to buy our $40 t-shirts and videos and hats and mugs and…yeah. We’re never going to stop spending money learning this lesson are we. We know it. We just need constant reminders to DO IT.

EAT CLEAN OR DIE

We buy mostly organics at our house, and have read enough to understand how crucial it is to avoid antibiotics and hormones and nitrites/nitrates in our meat. And even my son is already aware of reading labels and avoiding hugh-fructose corn syrup, trans fats etcetera. But lest anyone waver, Jillian drove these points home brilliantly with photos of appallingly obese corn-fed cattle – and the steaks that came from them – and bloated farmed salmon.

She shared her lists of the Dirty Dozen – produce to ALWAYS buy organic – the Clean 15 – OK to eat conventional – and things to ALWAYS avoid in your food. (This, of course, is extremely effective bait to get us to her website and encourage us to join her paid online community. Not a bad thing to consider if you need more external motivation. I used to subscribe and there are a wealth of useful exercise circuits and recipes in addition to the community features.)

MOVE YOUR ASS AND MOVE IT FAST

Jillian is, of course, a huge advocate for HIIT – high intensity interval training. And I tell you, when I used to actually do the super high intensity circuits in her Making the Cut book, I was in better shape than I ever have been in my life. Even better than when I was running before the ankle injury (*sigh*). As soon as I am healed I am getting back on the HIIT (and of course running) wagon. Right now I am just going to move my ass as fast as I can without hurting myself. Still, I was glad she acknowledged that HIIT isn’t for everyone, and that people should do what they enjoy…just FASTER, maintaining a heart rate of 85% of your max as much as possible during your workouts.

THE MENTAL PART: HOW TO STOP GETTING IN YOUR OWN WAY

Sadly, at this point in the show there was an intermission and I had to get my son home. So the holy grail I was looking for was not to be found this night.

For me, the holy grail is self esteem…how to get some and KEEP IT even when I can’t run. Oddly, running seemed to be a remedy in this area. And now that I can run for the time being I’m struggling with the old self-directed negativity again…putting myself down and, exactly as Jillian puts it, getting in my own way.

Anyone see the end of the show, or have any words of wisdom to share in this area?

Peace.

Spaight

Lego Ninjago Spinjitsu training camp: Marketing genius and total scam

Apr 02

A few days ago I got this Email from ToysRUs:

It was insanely well timed. I got it just as I came home from the second evening in a row of being at work late; henceforth, the motherly guilt was peaking for the week. Lego Ninjago Spinjitsu Training Camp! Holy crap – the absolutely perfect way to divert G’s attention from the fact that he hasn’t seen me in days! Woot! (If you’re marketing to working Moms, evidently e-mailing them at 7PM on Wednesday/Thursday is pretty smart.)

So, after being mutually jacked up about this for the past three days, today we made the journey to the “epic” training camp experience. Which consisted of:

-Two folding tables with red vinyl tablecloths
-A few bowls full of Lego pieces
-One plastic Ninjago training ring
-One human “Ninja Master” with headband
-A stack of small Ninjago Training Camp posters

And…a huge pack of kids and parents waiting in line, with armloads of Ninjago crap to buy. Seriously – this two hour event cost them about $100 all in, with staff cost and printing, and they raked in cash in boatloads. GENIUS.

We loaded up, like the rest, with a couple of Ninjas (um, OK, those are for me and @bootyp), our FREE-with-purchase Ninjago Skeleton Chopper (which retails for $3.99 and is worth about $.12), and a $32.99 Lego Prince of Persia set, because they didn’t have the Ninjago set that G wanted. And we waited in line – thankfully only for a few minutes – at the folding table with the red vinyl tablecloth with the human Ninja master, eagerly awaiting the magical revelation of the “new spinning techniques.” (There’s more than one way to spin a ninja, you know…)

But wait. We watched the kids in front of us battle the “Master” and there were no new spinning techniques offered. Say what? So, of course, when our turn came, I demanded – I mean, asked – for the actual training part of the “Training Camp”. Lo and behold, we did learn, for about 90 seconds, about the “Higher Ground” technique (more pieces on the bottom of your Ninja so he or she – yes, there is a token female Ninja in the group – is taller than the competition) and the Headspin (impressive).

And…that was it. The FIRST EVER LEGO NINJAGO SPINJITZU TRAINING CAMP!!! aka Letdown City.

Now, mind you, in all honesty I had pretty much lowered my expectations before we went, knowing that it was a trumped up marketing scam. And I figured Griffin would rate the experience a “10″ given that he walked out with a couple of new spinning tips and, more importantly, a new Lego set. But even he says it was just “OK”.

Seems to me, if they are going to include that many exclamation points in one Email, they should at least be set up to provide some “training” without people having to demand – I mean, ask for it.

Lego is one of the smartest marketers out there. They have a kickass product. They have a kickass website with piles of killer video content and games. They know to Email guilt-ridden Moms on Wednesday evening. But, if you’re going to have an event, it’s still all about the experience. Work with your retailers to make it not suck. I know that’s easier said than done, when you have tons of retailers and little control. But there’s got to be a way to provide standards, and do some sort of QA.

Of course we still love Legos. But we would definitely never go out of our way to go to another so-called “Training Camp.”

What do you think? Marketing genius? Or total scam?

How to alienate a customer in just three easy steps

Jan 18

The really great thing about social media is this: it’s faster and easier than ever to ignore, alienate and piss off a customer!

Case in point. As quick background, I joined Weight Watchers 9 days ago (not that I’m counting). It’s not a brand I ever thought I would associate with, but, well, that Jennifer Hudson TV commercial sucked me in, to tell you the truth. I know how to lose weight (lots of experience), but counting calories has gotten tedious so I thought maybe there’s something to this whole “points” thing.

HOW TO ALIENATE A CUSTOMER IN THREE EASY STEPS:

Step One: Present a compelling promise with fine print that basically negates it.

“JOIN FOR FREE!” Mouse type: we’re waiving a joining fee but it’s still going to cost you $60 to get started. If there actually is a one-week free trial, bury it in your site architecture so your customer doesn’t see it.

Step Two: Follow worst practices of Twitter use.

Follow less than 1% of your followers. Never reply to them when they tweet about you or directly ask you questions. Post on your profile, “Have questions? E-mail our customer service for the quickest response!”

Completely ignore the fact that one-fourth of respondents who complain via Facebook or Twitter expect a reply within 60 minutes — and 6% expect a response within 10 minutes, according to the study by Lightspeed Research and the Internet Advertising Bureau UK.

After all, why answer questions responsively on Twitter, when you can…

Step Three: Apologize on your email contact form for the fact that it might take you up to two days to respond, then wait six days. When you do respond, provide a robotic non-answer to the question.

Never mind that if consumers notify a company of a problem using its Web site, 50% are happy to wait up to a day for a reply and 27% are content to wait for up to three days, according to the same study referenced above.

(Bonus Step: If you really want to get your customers going, throw in a dysfunctional web site with recipe search that if your user’s cursor goes outside the margins, they have to start over. And a dysfunctional mobile app that doesn’t allow them to favorite recipes.)

Isn’t the point of social media to communicate AT your customers? You wouldn’t want to communicate with them, maybe nudge them towards enthusiasm or advocacy. That would be too much work.

Calling B.S. on P&G

Nov 09

I sometimes recommend strategies that are about differentiating through brand integrity – how a brand treats its customers, employees, community and the environment. Lately it seems everyone is jumping on this bandwagon, even more than ever. Or maybe I am just noticing it more. But as friend, former colleague, fellow strategist John Karlson and I were discussing recently, there is a big difference between making a quick buck off of a cause marketing promotion and making an authentic long-term commitment to a social mission, corporate responsibility, brand integrity, whatever you want to call it.

For example, which one do you think this is, from Dawn dish soap (P&G)?

Smells like the former “quick buck” strategy to me, and the very healthy discussion of the spot on YouTube seems to mostly agree, though it’s definitely the “Skeptic” segment pitted against the “Pollyanna” segment who ran out and bought Dawn because the commercial is cute and the music is great. If you know me, read my blog regularly, or follow me on Twitter, you know which segment I fall into

The commenters point out that P&G tests its products on animals, while the company states that such testing is a last resort. Which, in effect, is sort of a corporate escape hatch, IMHO. Further, the company has formed a “strategic partnership” with the American Humane Society “committed to the elimination of animal use for consumer product evaluation.” Was the objective of that strategy really “doing the right thing”? Or was it “form a defense against PETA”? Either way, if I can be super tactical for a moment, the fact that the spot is a Simulated Demonstration calls its authenticity into question.

Lo and behold, Dawn’s actual Good Guide rating is a whopping 5.7 out of 10. Not “Terrible” – though of couple of their products are rated “Terrible” in the health category – but certainly not good enough to call themselves the environmental good guys. So I’m officially calling BS on this Good Guy strategy, folks.

What do you think? Do you think P&G is for real in this case? Or do you think its corporate whitewashing? If you know anyone from P&G, feel free to invite them to weigh in. I would love to be proven wrong.

For more on brand integrity, I highly recommend the brilliant Marketing Meritocracy blog by John F. Karlson. For more explanation of Good Guide ratings, go here.

Dear Subaru storytelling campaign

Oct 21

Saw this ad in Cooking Light yesterday and I dig that it is using customer stories to spread the love. I’m awaiting confirmation but I believe the campaign comes from Carmichael Lynch, an agency I was with for 5 years in the late 90s. Their philosophy was – and is – “Speak to the core and let others listen in.” Meaning they were enthusiast marketers before social enthusiast marketing was cool.

Whoever executed the campaign, I’ve got a few questions, though. Why is “Dear Subaru” buried in the corporate website, not promoted on the home page (say, in place of the Free Outback Detergent promo)? It’s great advertising IMHO, but why rely on that to get people there when you’ve probably got tons of prospects hitting your home page? Why isn’t the campaign integrated into your Facebook page? Your fans obviously love you, but what better place to capture more stories and/or refer them to “Dear Subaru”? Why, on the “Dear Subaru” page, can we only see the three stories that you have controlled for advertising purposes? Have there been other submissions? Are people participating? The page isn’t social/transparent for us users to really FEEL the love.

Awesome idea. And I think it’s pretty new, so maybe it will get there. But it feels like a digital campaign executed by an advertising agency.

Your customers expect the “make it happen” button

Aug 20

Marketers, hospitality brands, everyone: consider this a friendly reminder that creating a positively talkable customer experience should still be strategy numero uno in your playbook. Why? Because customers now expect the “Make It Happen” button.

Put yourself in the shoes of your customer. (OK, it’s me. Today. But pretend that it is you. Seriously. Do it. Please.) Imagine this experience. It might help you deeply understand that what your customers go through — and what they expect from you — is much bigger than you think.

You’re leaving on a business trip. When you are dropped at the airport, your four-year-old is crying and screaming “Mommy Mommy Mommy” in the car, so your nerves are raw and you haven’t even entered the airport yet. First leg of the trip goes fine, you’re starting to relax. Your connecting flight leaves on time, you’re thinking “no sweat. I’m good.” Until you are told that there are 32 (yes, 32) planes ahead of you on the runway. You regroup, read your book, make pleasant conversation with your seat mate with some serious halitosis. Fine. Until you fly into a thunderstorm, think you’re falling out of the sky, and circle the airport for a while before you are allowed to land. All this before you even get to your hotel.

(Hotel marketers — Hampton Inn & Suites, specifically: are you paying attention now? You should be.) You – the customer – are incredibly relieved to get to your hotel. Until you realize that the gate agent at the airport kept your American Express card. You regroup again and head to your room. Nice amenities, you’re thinking ahhhhh at last. I can order some room service and chill out. The menu looks great. So you push the room service button and…no one answers. You see that there is a “Make It Happen” button. “Let us spoil you. Direct any request to our make it happen line.” SWEET, you’re thinking. Surely someone at the make it happen button will bring me some food. Except, um, no one answers the “make it happen” button either. (Seriously. I am not making this up.)

So, you call the front desk and are informed that, oops, the restaurant is closed for renovations – we “forgot” to mention that when you made your reservation. But hey, we can shuttle you to another part of town, you can order a pizza, or you can walk five blocks to a diner after traveling for nine hours. We can “make that happen” for you!

Guess what your customer says? Can you guess? “Make this happen: I am checking out. Now. Buh-bye. And when I get to my new hotel, I am going to write a blog post about your God-awful service, that I hope through some small miracle many people see. Let’s make that happen.”

Then, you get to your new hotel, and, um, find your American Express card, which you’ve already cancelled, and they won’t reinstate, and won’t send you a new one for four days (remember those commercials they used to run with the couple traveling and AmEx is there to save their butts? Yeah, so do I). So they pass you around from person to person, put you on hold a few times until you are standing at the hotel desk in tears, and eventually tell your hotel “She’s good. She can stay.” You breathe a sigh of relief. And go to your room and immediately tell the world about that, too.

The moral of this story? Like it or not, those marketers that haven’t figured this out yet need to deal with the fact that customers have come to expect the “Make It Happen” button. We’re less tolerant of mediocrity – or worse – than we used to be. Because we have channels for sharing and amplifying our discontent. And because we have every right to expect more.

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