Welcome to the Twitterhood

Twitter – and to an extent Facebook and other online social networking – has become the primary neighborhood, for me, and I suspect for many of you. “Right” or “wrong” (and it’s really neither, it just is) I know my friends that I have met through Twitter – who live in other parts of the city, country, world – better than I know most of the people who live on my street.

Why? Because I see their lives streaming before me in real time, day in and day out. And they see mine. And no, not just the mundane details, like what they are having for breakfast (though yes, you have to self-filter that to get to the good stuff), but also their challenges and struggles (job searches, illnesses, family problems) – and their triumphs (new jobs, weddings, babies being born). It’s really quite the reality show…much more interesting than anything on TV, on a “good Twitter day”. (Other times, yes, it can be like watching paint dry.)

Ask for help when you need it. Help when you can.

Much has been written documenting the social good being instigated online. And I firmly believe we each have a responsibility to “pay it forward” when we can. In my little microcosmic world, recently, I had surgery. Who came to my aid afterwards with books, wonderful home cooked meals, and offers to help? It wasn’t the couple next door or the couple down the street. It wasn’t even family members, who, granted, live a fair distance away. It was friends I met and built relationships with via Twitter, and, subsequently, at offline events. A huge thank you, again, to those who helped or offered help.

There’s always the Twitterhood. And it’s a blessing.

So, should I make more of an effort to get to know the couples next door and down the street? Absolutely. Our suburban lifestyle isn’t super-conducive to that, though, as I’m just not home that much, and when I am, I’m not usually shooting the breeze over the back fence. (Not to mention that where I live, it’s decent outside about one third of the year.) Maybe it would be different if I lived in a town as small as the one in which I was raised? Or maybe not. Maybe things are just…different now. You could argue that I’m being lazy. And maybe at times I am. There needs to be a balance between online neighbors and physical neighbors.

Let me participate in the way that I can be most effective.

If you’re a marketer or fundraiser, you need to understand this dynamic. For example, the American Cancer Society runs a neighborhood fundraising campaign, in which they ask volunteers such as me to send a letter – yes, a paper, old school letter, with, like a stamp and stuff – to everyone on their block asking them to donate money. Nice idea, and maybe once upon a time it was effective, or maybe in some communities, it still is. For me, it was a complete waste of time and generated exactly zero return, as I predicted it would. Why? Because my geographic neighbors don’t know me as well as my online, on-Twitter neighbors do. (Well, that and the fact that half of the addresses were out of date.) ACS gives their volunteer neighborhood fundraisers the option of also creating a fundraising web page, but, after doing all the letters, well, I couldn’t find the time that day to get it done. A great way around this problem would be for ACS and like organizations to give its volunteers choices from several different paths to participation. Don’t assume that how you define my neighborhood is how I define my neighborhood.

We’re creating online communities the way our grandparents did in small towns.

Related, here’s a brilliant post from the inimitable Sara Santiago: A Guy For That. In it, Sara points out how “social media is really just helping us find (and be) “a guy for that” in a much larger online community.” Our “guys” used to be in our town, whereas now, our “guys” maybe be across the country or across the world. And, Sara says, “social media has allowed us to create a powerful online community, in much the same way our grandparents did within a small town.” Yes. THAT. That is what we are talking about.

The assertion here is that, for many of us, the notion, the definition, the expression of “neighborhood” has fundamentally changed.

What’s up in your ‘hood?

My family, particularly my eldest brother, thinks Twitter is ridiculous. I think it’s just an extended neighborhood. So now, when, in the mornings, you see me tweet “Good morning, Twitterhood” you’ll know what the heck I am talking about.

Is this what’s happening for you, too? Or is your experience different?

Is the fact that we’re spending more of our time networking online weakening our physical neighborhoods? Or just making them bigger, maybe even closer-knit?

What do you think?

  • Cheryl

    Sue, you have this exactly right. I think what Twitter allows us to do is by reading through our streams, we find people who have similar interests. We can then interact as we choose to and decide who we want to become closer friends with. It gives us a bigger pool to pick from when choosing our friends, where we just wouldn’t physically “run into” that many people otherwise. We have nice neighbors, but we don’t really hang out with them. When the kids were little and playing with all the neighbor kids in the cul-de-sac we’d chat more, but the kids are grown & have other friends now. I think one of the nicest things about Twitter though is that you don’t have to “be” anywhere to be with your Twitter friends. You can just carry them around with you in your pocket and reach out & chat anytime, anywhere.

    • Sue Spaight

      Cheryl YES exactly, that is a superb point about a bigger pool to pick from. We may have met eventually, at a networking event, but Twitter improved the odds, facilitated, expedited our meeting. And I’m so glad it did :]

  • Shandra

    I moved cities 3 years ago – a very difficult decision, and it took me and my 3 children away from our support system. Facebook at that time, was my main source of interaction and allowed me to keep up with my friends ‘back home’ much easier than if I’d have had to call and talk on the phone. It was a large part of helping me keep my sanity at that time. I just joined Twitter a few weeks ago, and as I follow people who have an impact on lives, and learn from them/their websites, I’ve opened up a whole new world of learning and exploration for myself. I really had no idea what Twitter was all about, and judged it without making an informed choice. My only problem now is not allowing it to consume my days as I peruse websites and read blogs….ha. Great article, Sue.

    • Anonymous

      Yay! Welcome to the Twitterhood. :] Many people do judge it without making an informed choice, as you say so well. I thought it sounded silly, too, before I started using it. Now I am in awe of the quantity of quality people it has brought into my world! Thanks for your comment, it’s great to *meet* you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ericac2 Erica Conway

    As I’ve come to expect, you pegged it!

    Josh and I have lived in our apartment complex for over 4 years, it suits our busy life style (no shoveling, no lawn care) and we like it just fine as we save for a house. But after 4 years, we only have 2 “neighbors” that we know well, our cool maintenance guy Brian and our complex manager Karen. OVER FOUR YEARS! We don’t have a private entrance or any barriers for connecting, yet here we are, nearly neighbor-less in very close proximity to many potential neighbors.

    I’ve been on Twitter since December 2008ish. 2.5 years. In that time I have met friends through tweetups, via twitter conversations, by following hashtags or by the advice to follow someone. I have become very fond of folks I may not have met otherwise. I see the story repeated again and again amongst colleagues. In fact, I know of two Twitter-influenced romantic relationships that have moved from dating to shacking up… in a short time. I have placed at least one person in a new FT job after meeting her on Twitter and know several people who have gotten jobs the same way.

    Is it access or engagement? Perhaps I’m less engaged when I walk into my building? Perhaps, if everyone’s doors were open, I’d feel more comfortable seeing who my neighbors are and then chatting them up.

    Friendship building is just easier on Twitter, with access a given and engagement rewarded and reinforced readily and instantly. Nowadays a tweet up feels like a bit of a reunion with old friends, some of whom you need to catch up with and some of whom you just chatted with yesterday.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ericac2 Erica Conway

    As I’ve come to expect, you pegged it!

    Josh and I have lived in our apartment complex for over 4 years, it suits our busy life style (no shoveling, no lawn care) and we like it just fine as we save for a house. But after 4 years, we only have 2 “neighbors” that we know well, our cool maintenance guy Brian and our complex manager Karen. OVER FOUR YEARS! We don’t have a private entrance or any barriers for connecting, yet here we are, nearly neighbor-less in very close proximity to many potential neighbors.

    I’ve been on Twitter since December 2008ish. 2.5 years. In that time I have met friends through tweetups, via twitter conversations, by following hashtags or by the advice to follow someone. I have become very fond of folks I may not have met otherwise. I see the story repeated again and again amongst colleagues. In fact, I know of two Twitter-influenced romantic relationships that have moved from dating to shacking up… in a short time. I have placed at least one person in a new FT job after meeting her on Twitter and know several people who have gotten jobs the same way.

    Is it access or engagement? Perhaps I’m less engaged when I walk into my building? Perhaps, if everyone’s doors were open, I’d feel more comfortable seeing who my neighbors are and then chatting them up.

    Friendship building is just easier on Twitter, with access a given and engagement rewarded and reinforced readily and instantly. Nowadays a tweet up feels like a bit of a reunion with old friends, some of whom you need to catch up with and some of whom you just chatted with yesterday.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ericac2 Erica Conway

    As I’ve come to expect, you pegged it!

    Josh and I have lived in our apartment complex for over 4 years, it suits our busy life style (no shoveling, no lawn care) and we like it just fine as we save for a house. But after 4 years, we only have 2 “neighbors” that we know well, our cool maintenance guy Brian and our complex manager Karen. OVER FOUR YEARS! We don’t have a private entrance or any barriers for connecting, yet here we are, nearly neighbor-less in very close proximity to many potential neighbors.

    I’ve been on Twitter since December 2008ish. 2.5 years. In that time I have met friends through tweetups, via twitter conversations, by following hashtags or by the advice to follow someone. I have become very fond of folks I may not have met otherwise. I see the story repeated again and again amongst colleagues. In fact, I know of two Twitter-influenced romantic relationships that have moved from dating to shacking up… in a short time. I have placed at least one person in a new FT job after meeting her on Twitter and know several people who have gotten jobs the same way.

    Is it access or engagement? Perhaps I’m less engaged when I walk into my building? Perhaps, if everyone’s doors were open, I’d feel more comfortable seeing who my neighbors are and then chatting them up.

    Friendship building is just easier on Twitter, with access a given and engagement rewarded and reinforced readily and instantly. Nowadays a tweet up feels like a bit of a reunion with old friends, some of whom you need to catch up with and some of whom you just chatted with yesterday.

    • Anonymous

      Erica, thanks, as always for the kind words :] That’s a great observation about access. Twitter (and other networks) is an open door – millions of open doors. It IS just easier, for exactly that reason.

  • gark

    I didn’t say it was ridiculous – I said it wasn’t for me, and as your much older sibling, I long for the days when relationships were less transactional and built more than 140 characters at a time. In an era when we don’t have time for others because we are very important and busy (there’s a reason it’s called the ‘Me Generation’) one would reasonably anticipate increased transactional and less relational interactions.

    My observation from a sociological perspective is that if you gather a group of people all of whom use the technology regarding which you are commenting they will primarily engage in conversation about how said technology is a must, revolutionary, changing the way communities form and interact, etc. Pretty normal phenomenon.

    PS – anyone that tweets ‘Good morning Twitterhood’ should poke themselves in the eye immediately after doing so – I can’t imagine a more vapid use of technology.

    Your loving but curmudgeonly brother.

    • Sue Spaight

      Bro, apologies if I read TOO much sarcasm into your thoughts on Twitter: “The twitter is definitely the best way/place to meet new people and make new friends; I don’t even remember how people net people before the twitter.” I can absolutely understanding longing for a different time. I sincerely do wish that I was in a time and a place where it was easy for me to chat up the neighbors over the back fence. But, in the absence of that, at least there’s this. And relationships that start as transactional sometimes become quite relational. Your loving, but vapid, sister.