Welcome to the Twitterhood....

Twitter – and to an extent Facebook and other online social networking – has become the primary neighborhood, for me, and I suspect for many of you. “Right” or “wrong” (and it’s really neither, it just is) I know my friends that I have met through Twitter – who live in other parts of the city, country, world – better than I know most of the people who live on my street.

Why? Because I see their lives streaming before me in real time, day in and day out. And they see mine. And no, not just the mundane details, like what they are having for breakfast (though yes, you have to self-filter that to get to the good stuff), but also their challenges and struggles (job searches, illnesses, family problems) – and their triumphs (new jobs, weddings, babies being born). It’s really quite the reality show…much more interesting than anything on TV, on a “good Twitter day”. (Other times, yes, it can be like watching paint dry.)

Ask for help when you need it. Help when you can.

Much has been written documenting the social good being instigated online. And I firmly believe we each have a responsibility to “pay it forward” when we can. In my little microcosmic world, recently, I had surgery. Who came to my aid afterwards with books, wonderful home cooked meals, and offers to help? It wasn’t the couple next door or the couple down the street. It wasn’t even family members, who, granted, live a fair distance away. It was friends I met and built relationships with via Twitter, and, subsequently, at offline events. A huge thank you, again, to those who helped or offered help.

There’s always the Twitterhood. And it’s a blessing.

So, should I make more of an effort to get to know the couples next door and down the street? Absolutely. Our suburban lifestyle isn’t super-conducive to that, though, as I’m just not home that much, and when I am, I’m not usually shooting the breeze over the back fence. (Not to mention that where I live, it’s decent outside about one third of the year.) Maybe it would be different if I lived in a town as small as the one in which I was raised? Or maybe not. Maybe things are just…different now. You could argue that I’m being lazy. And maybe at times I am. There needs to be a balance between online neighbors and physical neighbors.

Let me participate in the way that I can be most effective.

If you’re a marketer or fundraiser, you need to understand this dynamic. For example, the American Cancer Society runs a neighborhood fundraising campaign, in which they ask volunteers such as me to send a letter – yes, a paper, old school letter, with, like a stamp and stuff – to everyone on their block asking them to donate money. Nice idea, and maybe once upon a time it was effective, or maybe in some communities, it still is. For me, it was a complete waste of time and generated exactly zero return, as I predicted it would. Why? Because my geographic neighbors don’t know me as well as my online, on-Twitter neighbors do. (Well, that and the fact that half of the addresses were out of date.) ACS gives their volunteer neighborhood fundraisers the option of also creating a fundraising web page, but, after doing all the letters, well, I couldn’t find the time that day to get it done. A great way around this problem would be for ACS and like organizations to give its volunteers choices from several different paths to participation. Don’t assume that how you define my neighborhood is how I define my neighborhood.

We’re creating online communities the way our grandparents did in small towns.

Related, here’s a brilliant post from the inimitable Sara Santiago: A Guy For That. In it, Sara points out how “social media is really just helping us find (and be) “a guy for that” in a much larger online community.” Our “guys” used to be in our town, whereas now, our “guys” maybe be across the country or across the world. And, Sara says, “social media has allowed us to create a powerful online community, in much the same way our grandparents did within a small town.” Yes. THAT. That is what we are talking about.

The assertion here is that, for many of us, the notion, the definition, the expression of “neighborhood” has fundamentally changed.

What’s up in your ‘hood?

My family, particularly my eldest brother, thinks Twitter is ridiculous. I think it’s just an extended neighborhood. So now, when, in the mornings, you see me tweet “Good morning, Twitterhood” you’ll know what the heck I am talking about.

Is this what’s happening for you, too? Or is your experience different?

Is the fact that we’re spending more of our time networking online weakening our physical neighborhoods? Or just making them bigger, maybe even closer-knit?

What do you think?

Does Alice give a rat’s ass about being a tr...

If you’ve been on Twitter for more than three seconds in the past two days, you’ve seen #AliceBucketList. And if you haven’t, check out the Alice’s Bucket List, the blog of a 15-year-old girl with terminal cancer, asking people, primarily, to sign up for their national marrow donor registry. It’s powerful stuff, and has taken the Twitter world by storm, the fastest moving search stream I have ever seen.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty pissed off by the millions (?) of people on Twitter sharing this message and variations thereof:

Here’s the thing, people. LISTEN to Alice. She didn’t say she wants to be a trending topic on Twitter. It is in fact NOT on her bucket list. Some probably well-intentioned person on Twitter decided that for her, and, in my opinion, deflected attention from the REAL ISSUE. Which is the national marrow donor registry. I’ve seen a few other voices in the wilderness attempt to focus on that, God bless them.

Is it cool that she is a trending topic? HELL YES.

Will it do some good, driving more eyeballs to her story? HELL YES.

But will there be many people who – in the absence of focus on the marrow issue – just hit the RT button and feel like they have done their part? HELL YES.

Should people, as was suggested to me by a friend on Twitter, just do whatever they can? HELL YES.

But I, for one, often wish that we could, as a collective, focus less on shallow social media douchebaggery like “Alice wants to trend!”, which is bullshit, and more on DOING SOMETHING REAL. By all means, give the girl an RT, but know that this alone does not make you a person of real action.

Solely IMHO. Different strokes rule the world, as the TV theme song goes.

Bottom line, the marrow registry is waaaaay more important than any of this social media blahblahblah, so, if you’re already on the marrow registry, tell us why. And if you’re not, please learn more and considering signing up. I did when I found out that a good friend’s nephew was fighting leukemia. He’s 15 now and still fighting like hell, so, do it for him, and for Alice, and for all the other people who need it.

Here is some more information about why to donate marrow and the steps to register. Register with Be The Match here.

Super happy news this morning, though. Alice reported in the wee hours of the morning that a lot of money is being donated to cancer research through her sister’s race page. So, that’s fantastic. People have also helped arranged great experiences for her, the things that ARE on her bucket list, which is amazing. A ton of great people are taking real action and doing their part, whatever they can.

That’s all I’m asking.

Are you doing your part, whether for this, or another cause? Tell us. Inspire us. And thank you.

P.S. I’m not attempting to speak for Alice. I wouldn’t do that. She probably really does think it’s cool to be a trending topic, now that she is on Twitter. You can follow her here.

Hitting the lazy button...

Aided by social communication tools, are we becoming lazy communicators with lazy friendships?

Yesterday I posed this question on Twitter: do you ever feel that your use of social media is resulting in more, but SHALLOWER relationships? Even perhaps making long-term friendships shallower? A few people responded with a hearty AMEN and few people said NO WAY. How about you?

It’s not “social media’s fault”; the word choice of “your use of social media” was very intentional. The tools are what we make of them, just like the tools that came before. And you know I love them as much as the next addict enthusiast. Through them, I have met all of you amazing people and I don’t take that for granted.

Here’s the thing, though, peeps. We must not lose sight of the fact that these *newfangled* communication tools will only take us so far in our relationships. They are better, IMHO, for forging new relationships – making initial connections – than at strengthening existing relationships. At least personal, individual relationships. Brand relationships, different story for a different day. I’m talking about human to human connection here. Mano a mano…Hermano a hermano.

A couple of examples. Last week, I had surgery. A close friend promised me a phone call to see how I was doing. Now, like many of you, I am not a huge fan of the telephone. Except, perhaps, with her and a couple of other *old* friends. Well the phone call instead became a comment on my Facebook. Seriously? ITS. NOT. THE. SAME. Not everything in life can be accomplished with a tweet or a Facebook comment. And sadly, I’m sure I’ve done this, too. In fact, I know I’ve done it. Yesterday. A close relative posted something on her Facebook about having a bad week and being in a wheelchair. Wheelchair? Really? I’ve owed her a phone call for months, but did I do it? Nah. Instead, reply to Facebook post: “Dude what up?” Man, that’s some deep stuff right there…I’m sure THAT will make her feel better and show her that I care.

I’m not saying that social communication tools can’t be used in a way that deepens relationships. Often, they can. But I am suggesting that our tendency oftentimes has been to take the lazy way out, using them as a poor substitute for communication that really needs to be happening in a deeper way, one that actually requires a little effort.

Your turn. Agree or disagree? See yourself in this post at all? Or are we all just a bunch of dynamic rock stars using social media beautifully to change the world one deep meaningful relationship at a time?