Think before you bitch

Had a very thought provoking conversation this evening with restaurateur Marc Bianchini, owner of several very popular restaurants including Coa, Osteria del Mondo, Cubanitas and Indulge, all of which offer truly outstanding experiences.

I wish I had Marc’s comments on video to share with you, regarding the impact of online customer reviews from the small business owner’s point of view. Powerful stuff. Marc spoke about how seriously he takes customer feedback, how hard he works to correct any legitimate complaints, and how much negative reviews on sites like Yelp and Urban Spoon impact his business, his staff, and his family. Keep in mind, Marc’s restaurants are consistently rated among the best by various “professional” critics; yet, amateur critics – even some blatantly FALSE critics (competitors, perhaps) – seem to dominate in the online review space.

Seems to me, and many others I’ve spoken with, that people are generally a lot more likely to review a place on one of these sites when they are looking for a place to bitch than when they have had a good experience; yet, the average non-social-media-consultant (are there any of those left?) doesn’t think about that when looking at the reviews.

Many of us have become so accustomed to voicing our frustration every time an experience isn’t perfect that we do not stop to consider the impact that our actions may have on someone’s livelihood. I am of course not suggesting that we should stop sharing our negative experiences; but, I am asking that we make sure we balance it out with spreading at least as much love and feedback on our positive ones. It would really be a shame if we were, collectively, spending so much energy bitching online that we were damaging great businesses in the process. Wouldn’t it?

Sometimes, an experience really deserves a negative review. And sometimes, a taco is just a taco, and we might stop and consider working out our discontent with the business owner before telling the world that our taco was cold and we deserve better treatment, damn it.

You may not be aware – as I was not, until recently – that this past Spring, a class action lawsuit against Yelp! resulted in the site changing its advertising policies. The suit claimed that the site “runs an extortion scheme through which the company’s employees call businesses demanding monthly payments, in the guise of ‘advertising contracts,’ in exchange for removing or modifying negative reviews appearing on the website.” Keep this in mind when weighing reviews on the site into your decision making process.

Most importantly, spread some love for your favorite businesses. Please.

What do you think? Are we as quick with praise as we are with criticism? Do we need to be more balanced?

  • Jane Somers

    Thank you for this. We tend to be quick to express our outrage, and these sites give us an opportunity to do so before thinking about the consequences. I have often thought that there is a fine line between airing legitimate concerns and bullying.

    • http://www.spaighttalk.com Sue Spaight

      You’re absolutely right, Jane. That is a fine line and one I think we often cross.

  • http://paulgailey.com Paul Gailey

    You just hit a big nail on the head.

    I think there is an element of cathartic bitching that has become easier since the advent of social media.

    The propensity for people to twitch negatively is sometimes matched by the servantile zeal of companies to react to it, like this:

    http://twitter.com/jaybaer/status/24508544321

    Don´t people conceal themselves behind technology because it´s easier than full frontal human interaction?

    • http://www.spaighttalk.com Sue Spaight

      Thanks for your comment Paul, very insightful. We’ve all done it – the “negative knee jerk tweet” – at least I have. This weekend I spent two minutes with an iPad app before tweeting that the UX sucked and the price was a travesty. After I spent a little more time, sure it has some bugs, but, overall it’s pretty useful. You hit the nail on the head, it is a lot easier to hide behind a tweet, or tweet passive aggressively, than to ask to speak to the manager. True, who hasn’t had a frustrating experience speaking with a manager, but I don’t think that gives us the right to expect instant gratification every time we send a critical tweet. And it most definitely doesn’t give us the right to post so carelessly about other people’s livelihoods.

  • http://JimRaffel.com Jim Raffel

    We disagree again. I’ll bitch when I want to darnit. As to Yelp’s “extortion scheme” – wrong, very wrong and was handled the correct way with a class action law suit. I have virtually no respect for the opinions of “professional critics.” I’ll take my chances asking for recommendations where to eat in a local on Twitter. Either that or filter the reviews on a site like Yelp. It’s pretty easy (for me at least) to filter out a “I was treated like a princess damnit” review, from yep, this guy really had a bad experience. Filtering the stream and making judgment calls will always be the responsibility of consuming humans. Automation can only do so much.

    • http://www.spaighttalk.com Sue Spaight

      Hi, Jim. Not suggesting you should never bitch, not at all. If we didn’t care about each other’s opinions, we wouldn’t be here in the “social space”. And, it’s great that overall social criticism has made brands more responsive, and many more could stand to be. Just suggesting we might pause before bitching and make sure it’s 1) warranted – not just a knee jerk reaction and 2) balanced – is there anything positive that this business owner deserves to have said? That’s all. While it may be very easy for you to filter the legitimate reviews from the total garbage, not everyone takes the time or is that tuned in. Many people ONLY post reviews when they are negative ones, and that doesn’t exactly add up to a balanced, fair snapshot of what an experience is really like.

  • http://www.oddesigners.com Joe Baranowski

    I know that I find it much easier to point out negatives, whether it is through social media or in person. It is good to have a reminder that I should emphasize when I have a good experience as well!

  • Michael Pflughoeft

    Bravo Sue! I’d suggest that at least 50% (probably more, but at LEAST half) of the restaurant “reviews” on sites like Yelp and Urban Spoon are completely bogus — posted by competitors with an axe to grind or by friends and employees of the establishment looking to balance those blatently false postings. That said, I think it’s pretty easy to see through the BS on most of those postings – since they contain little detail to support their “bitches.” But you’re right — many people don’t read with such a careful eye. Unfortunately, it’s crap like this that undermines the validity of social media outlets in general and those of us who take it seriously need to work harder to counteract those idiots with thoughtful, balanced commentary — both positive and negative (if warranted.)

    • http://www.spaighttalk.com Sue Spaight

      Mikey P! Good to see you here. Your name came up last night, actually. Great points, thanks for adding them.

  • http://www.teecycle.org Tim

    This is one of my favorite posts that you’ve ever written, Sue. And that’s saying a lot, especially since I’m pretty biased toward some of your other blogs.

    Yes, we’re all human, we all have good days and bad days, and we like to express those emotions socially, whether that’s online or off. But knee-jerk, thoughtless complaining is just toxic for all involved — especially when it is amplified by a powerful outlet like the internet. It takes a toll. I’ve even seen one twitterer respond by saying he’s going to automatically unfollow anyone who complains about their 3G. Never has the hashtag #firstworldproblems seemed more apt.

    Anyway, I could go on and on, but I don’t want to complain too much about complainers. #meta Thanks for yet again saying what need to be said, Sue. In the words of the Hold Steady, stay positive!

    Tim

    • http://www.spaighttalk.com Sue Spaight

      Tim, thank you, that is too kind. I do my share of bitching, hopefully not too much, but Marc really made me think last night. It does affect people, and can do so in a big way on a cumulative basis. And people like you, who are relentlessly positive, but still authentic, affect people in a much more constructive way. Of course some of us will never walk away completely from a little good-natured snark ;) but hopefully at no one’s expense. -Sue

  • http://www.teecycle.org Tim

    Sorry, just one more thing. This is one of my favorite videos ever:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r1CZTLk-Gk

    (Conan O’Brien interview with comedian Louis C.K., titled “Everything’s amazing and no one’s happy.”)

  • Bob Fichtner

    I worked many a year in various restaurants – from food court to high-end fine dining and everything in between. Most restaurateurs want to know when something is not right, when it is not right and when they can do something about it. It used to kill me when someone told me about a bad experience they had at a restaurant I was working at two weeks after it happened. There was very little it could do about it then. Bring it to my attention when it happens and I can do something about it.

    So – feel free to rant on whatever channel, web site, etc. you want about a bad experience you had – if and only if – you brought it to the attention of the waiter/waitress, host/hostess or manager at the time it is happening and they refused to make good.

    And that goes for any other business, good or service.

  • http://philgerbyshak.com Phil Gerbyshak

    I feel people complain for 1 of 2 reasons:

    1) Complain because you want something to be done about it. Hopefully you gave the establishment you went to the chance to fix the problem at the point of the experience, and they failed, so now you think outing them will get their attention.

    2) Complain to vent – this is where you need to be careful or you look like a whiner, and could do potential long-term damage to what is your favorite place.

    @Jim Raffel – You’re absolutely right. You have the right to complain as much as you want about whatever you want. But you also know as a business owner that if you don’t get the chance to fix something and someone posts a blog post about how much you/your business SUCKS, that it’s FOREVER and that’s tough to overcome. Not to mention, it HURTS. I think you would much rather your customer give you a chance to fix instead of just posting on whatever website how bad you hosed them.

    Knowing this, some businesses just don’t CARE about their customers. Why they are in business, I don’t know. It’s great to see Marc Bianchini spotlighted here, because not only does he care, but he works REALLY hard to keep all his properties running well and all his customers happy. In my talks with Marc about social media like Yelp, Twitter and FourSquare, he wants to use these services to improve his customers experiences, even if they are already good.

    I will continue to think before I complain, and I hope others will too. It’s win-win, because ultimately, I just want what I want and if that can come from a talking to the owner, so be it.

    • http://www.spaighttalk.com Sue Spaight

      Thank you, Phil. Extremely well said. It is indeed the “just venting” type of complaint that can hurt the most. Marc talked about that, too, and I completely agree, he bends over backwards to make things right for every customer. I, too, hope that people will listen, and think before they vent!

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  • Matthew

    This is something I wish everyone would do, not only on Yelp and Urban Spoon for restaurants, but in all sorts of retail environments.

    I’ve worked in retail and in customer service for 10 years now, and the most common thing I see is people react belligerently when things don’t go their way, and will demand all sorts of things from sales associates in grocery stores, clothing stores, and basically everywhere. I’ve been on the receiving end of so many people calling me names, even as I tried to fix something, that it’s simply ridiculous.